CLICK TO ENLARGE (ha, no pun intended)
I loved that shirt. I miss it.
And now the 'after'. This was taken yesterday. As you can see, I've still got a long way to go (at least 85 pounds) but still... it's progress!
CLICK TO ENLARGE
Monday, September 28, 2009
The dreaded (but much requested) full body shot!
I've been asked to post a full body shot, and as much as it makes me nauseaus... I'm gonna do it! Ok. First the 'Before' shot. Ben had to comb his archives to find even ONE full body shot of me before surgery, because I'm EXT...REMELY efficient at deleting them immediately after he takes them. As you can see, I wasn't happy he was taking this one either. I showed him via sign language. *blush* I'm sorry Mom and Dad, I promise it's the only full body shot I could find!
CLICK TO ENLARGE (ha, no pun intended)
I loved that shirt. I miss it.
And now the 'after'. This was taken yesterday. As you can see, I've still got a long way to go (at least 85 pounds) but still... it's progress!
CLICK TO ENLARGE
CLICK TO ENLARGE (ha, no pun intended)
I loved that shirt. I miss it.
And now the 'after'. This was taken yesterday. As you can see, I've still got a long way to go (at least 85 pounds) but still... it's progress!
CLICK TO ENLARGE
Thursday, September 17, 2009
WOO HOO!
As of 9:00pm last night, I have lost 100 pounds. Half way to my goal and too busy to even celebrate it except for this little post!!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
8 Weeks
Well folks, this surgery and I are getting along swimmingly. My weight loss has stabilized to a steady 2 or 3 pounds a week, and I'm very happy with that. When I was losing too quickly it was making me grumpy, and draining all of my energy which made working out too difficult. Now, even though the pounds are coming off more slowly, I'm able to work out more, which makes me feel great!
To be honest though, I haven't stepped a foot inside a gym in a full week. You see, my dear aunt Flo came to visit. (This is where any stray boy might want to stop reading).
Since I'm not allowed to take aspirin or ibprofen--or anything that contains either of those--I decided to let myself take a week off from my workout schedule to relax. Instead of hitting the gym, I spent my free time with my heating pad, warm creamy cups of tea, and a good book! haha.
It was sort of crazy to see what my cycle did to my weight loss graph. The first day I gained 5 pounds of water weight. 5 POUNDS in one day! It was so crazy to see it jump like that. It stayed elevated for the first 3 days, and then started dropping again. Now I'm at day 6 and back down to just below my pre-cycle weight. So really all it did was cost me a week of progress, but that's not a big deal.
My body is in this super weird transition phase. I look in the mirror and get discouraged instantly. Because, I'm losing weight--slowly, but it's happening, I know that--but it's not in a shrinking way. It's not like those simulations they show on diet pill infomercials where they start with this big bloated cartoon who morphs into a skinny girl. It looks more like....
melting.
:-)
I know. Sexy. But seriously, everywhere that used to be solid firm fat (the worst kind!) is now sort of... jigggly. My nutritionist says it's totally normal, and my skin is doing a fairly good job of keeping up, but it's still a very unattractive process.
But who cares? I still have 150 pounds to go. That's an entire Benjamin that I have to lose! Ya can't expect that to happen smoothly!
Heading out to for my daily protein shake, but I'll write again soon!
By the way, I came across this picture of myself from the summer I first met Ben, and it made me cry. I looked so confident, and happy, and energetic. In fact, my face looked down-right SLIM compared to most of my adult life.
This is the girl that Ben fell in love with, the young girl with long wispy curls, a sparkle in her eyes and a bright smile.
Where did she go?! She got hidden away by 75 pounds of post-wedding weight, and bad haircuts, I guess.
I can only hope that I'll look like this again, sometime soon...
To be honest though, I haven't stepped a foot inside a gym in a full week. You see, my dear aunt Flo came to visit. (This is where any stray boy might want to stop reading).
Since I'm not allowed to take aspirin or ibprofen--or anything that contains either of those--I decided to let myself take a week off from my workout schedule to relax. Instead of hitting the gym, I spent my free time with my heating pad, warm creamy cups of tea, and a good book! haha.
It was sort of crazy to see what my cycle did to my weight loss graph. The first day I gained 5 pounds of water weight. 5 POUNDS in one day! It was so crazy to see it jump like that. It stayed elevated for the first 3 days, and then started dropping again. Now I'm at day 6 and back down to just below my pre-cycle weight. So really all it did was cost me a week of progress, but that's not a big deal.
My body is in this super weird transition phase. I look in the mirror and get discouraged instantly. Because, I'm losing weight--slowly, but it's happening, I know that--but it's not in a shrinking way. It's not like those simulations they show on diet pill infomercials where they start with this big bloated cartoon who morphs into a skinny girl. It looks more like....
melting.
:-)
I know. Sexy. But seriously, everywhere that used to be solid firm fat (the worst kind!) is now sort of... jigggly. My nutritionist says it's totally normal, and my skin is doing a fairly good job of keeping up, but it's still a very unattractive process.
But who cares? I still have 150 pounds to go. That's an entire Benjamin that I have to lose! Ya can't expect that to happen smoothly!
Heading out to for my daily protein shake, but I'll write again soon!
By the way, I came across this picture of myself from the summer I first met Ben, and it made me cry. I looked so confident, and happy, and energetic. In fact, my face looked down-right SLIM compared to most of my adult life.
This is the girl that Ben fell in love with, the young girl with long wispy curls, a sparkle in her eyes and a bright smile.
Where did she go?! She got hidden away by 75 pounds of post-wedding weight, and bad haircuts, I guess.
I can only hope that I'll look like this again, sometime soon...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
My Weight Loss Soul Sister
So I found this channel on You Tube and I am LOVING this girl. This is one of her first videos, and although it's like 18 months old, it's so similar to where I am, that I had to post it. It's like having a friend going through the same thing as me!! Thank goodness for You Tube.
P.S.--I plan to do my own videos soon. I'm still not feeling confident enough to put my fat face on the internet. :-)
P.S.--I plan to do my own videos soon. I'm still not feeling confident enough to put my fat face on the internet. :-)
Monday, June 29, 2009
Quick Update--5 weeks post op
I'm feeling great!!!
The last 7-10 days have made a huge difference. I'm feeling very little pain anymore, meeting my hydration goals most days, and I have WAY more energy! Exercising on a regular basis has really helped. I am still not eating much, but the excercise keeps my energy up, and gives me motivation to eat--after all, I HAVE to eat to be able to excercise.
Food has become--at least for right now--sort of a chore. Because I can't eat the same things I used to eat (comfort food like macaroni, hot dogs, and bread) it doesn't really appeal to me at all anymore. It's just not 'fun' anymore! That change has been the biggest emotional challenge so far, and belieive me I'm still dealing with that every day. I am very literally mourning my old comfort food hobby. For me, food was my main source of 'fun' and happiness for more than 15 years. Food made me feel better, every single time. Now when things suck, I have to cope with them like a grown-up and that's hard to do when you don't have any practice!!
:-)
Still, though I've been a bit emotional abotu it all, I haven't been even remotely tempted to try any of those 'bad' foods, because I still have VERY firm memories of being sick the first few weeks and I don't want to do anything to relive that stage.
I've been really good about eating only protein-rich foods, but when I do feel the need to 'splurge' I have a couple of safe filler foods that I've been relying on. One of those is avacado. When I'm feeling the need to have a non-protein food, that's my treat. I can only eat about 2 table-spoons a time, so the fat content is not soemthing to worry about and it is one of the only foods so far that has actually given me a reminicent 'comfort food' feeling. It's great!
I also let myself have a little sweet-potato on my birthday, and that was heavenly!!
I'm at right around 50 pounds of weight loss now, and trying not to weight too often (it's soooooo tempting to do it every day) because I know it can be discouraging, and my weight fluxes so much over the course of a week that it doesn't really give an accurate idea of where I'm at anyway.
That's all for now, off to the store to investigate protein-bar choices.
adios!
The last 7-10 days have made a huge difference. I'm feeling very little pain anymore, meeting my hydration goals most days, and I have WAY more energy! Exercising on a regular basis has really helped. I am still not eating much, but the excercise keeps my energy up, and gives me motivation to eat--after all, I HAVE to eat to be able to excercise.
Food has become--at least for right now--sort of a chore. Because I can't eat the same things I used to eat (comfort food like macaroni, hot dogs, and bread) it doesn't really appeal to me at all anymore. It's just not 'fun' anymore! That change has been the biggest emotional challenge so far, and belieive me I'm still dealing with that every day. I am very literally mourning my old comfort food hobby. For me, food was my main source of 'fun' and happiness for more than 15 years. Food made me feel better, every single time. Now when things suck, I have to cope with them like a grown-up and that's hard to do when you don't have any practice!!
:-)
Still, though I've been a bit emotional abotu it all, I haven't been even remotely tempted to try any of those 'bad' foods, because I still have VERY firm memories of being sick the first few weeks and I don't want to do anything to relive that stage.
I've been really good about eating only protein-rich foods, but when I do feel the need to 'splurge' I have a couple of safe filler foods that I've been relying on. One of those is avacado. When I'm feeling the need to have a non-protein food, that's my treat. I can only eat about 2 table-spoons a time, so the fat content is not soemthing to worry about and it is one of the only foods so far that has actually given me a reminicent 'comfort food' feeling. It's great!
I also let myself have a little sweet-potato on my birthday, and that was heavenly!!
I'm at right around 50 pounds of weight loss now, and trying not to weight too often (it's soooooo tempting to do it every day) because I know it can be discouraging, and my weight fluxes so much over the course of a week that it doesn't really give an accurate idea of where I'm at anyway.
That's all for now, off to the store to investigate protein-bar choices.
adios!
Friday, June 19, 2009
3.5 Weeks Post-Op Update
Hi friends! It's been a busy couple of weeks since I wrote last! So many crazy things have happened, plans and diets and jobs have changed, and I'm just adapting to all of that as best as I can. I'm down 41 pounds since surgery as of this morning. That's actually about 65 pounds down from my highest weight (last fall) so it's really exciting.
I'm on a soft (at times pureed) foods diet now. It's a big step-up from liquids, and I'm finding that my body isn't as anxious to advance as my mind is!
Foods That Work:
I'm SUPPOSED to be drinking 3 protein shakes a day to fill in this gap. I know that. They told me all about it for 6 months of classes before the surgery. I bought protein powder. I drank the shakes every day for a month to get in the habit. Problem? Pre-op I drank the powder in a smoothie which I made out of 8 ounces of orange juice, a cup of frozen fruit, and the powder.
My tummy doesn't like all that sugar anymore. I'm not supposed to drink more than 4 ounces of juice a DAY. Since I'd need about 18 ounces to go the smoothie route, that's obviously not an option. So the Dr. says I should drink the powder in a cup of plain milk but... come on. Who wants to drink 8 ounces of powdery milk 3 times a day? Especially when you have to SIP it over the course of an hour and a half to get 8 ounces down?!
So I'm takign a new route. I ordered several samples of protein powders that mix in water, called Nectar protein. It should be light and juice-like, which I'll be able to drink much more easily than this thick milk-based stuff. Hopefully that works, and I can fix this protein shortage before my hair starts falling out or my internal organs fail. Thanks Dr. for the scare tactics--they worked. :-)
So on Monday I started at my new Job. Because of some crazy things that have happened, I'm actually working for a clean energy company called ClearEdge Power over in Hillsboro. It's an amazing company. They produce one of the world's first fuel-cell systems that converts natural gas into clean energy for residences, allowing them to produce most or all of their own power. It's basically an alternative to Solar Panels for those who are looking to lower their home's carbon footprint and reduce energy costs.
Work is... work. :-) There is SO much to learn, since I've never worked in the industry before. Some of it's exciting and other times I'm kind of sitting in my cubicle thinking 'ok got it...what now?'. But that's always how a first week at a new place is, so I'm sure it will pick up.
That's all the news for now.
I'm on a soft (at times pureed) foods diet now. It's a big step-up from liquids, and I'm finding that my body isn't as anxious to advance as my mind is!
Foods That Work:
- Tuna w/olive oil mayo, mustard & salt
- Canned Chicken w/olive oil mayo, mustard & salt
- Scrambled eggs w/reduced fat cheese
- Fat-Free Refried Beans w/reduced fat cheese
- Protein-Enriched Cereal (Special K, I have to let it get soggy first, or Tummy gets mad)
- Cream of Wheat (no protein. kind of useless but yummy)
- VERY tender beef roast
- Fudgesicles
Foods That Should Work According to Dr. But Don't:
- Hamburger
- Ground Turey
- Ground Chicken
- Anything of hamburger consistency
- Most Chicken Breast (to fibrous by itself, doesn't break down enough)
- Fruit Popsicles (seems healthy but Tummy disagreed)
- Yogurt (I used to love it! Now? Not happening)
- Cottage Cheese
- Sugar Free Pudding
I'm SUPPOSED to be drinking 3 protein shakes a day to fill in this gap. I know that. They told me all about it for 6 months of classes before the surgery. I bought protein powder. I drank the shakes every day for a month to get in the habit. Problem? Pre-op I drank the powder in a smoothie which I made out of 8 ounces of orange juice, a cup of frozen fruit, and the powder.
My tummy doesn't like all that sugar anymore. I'm not supposed to drink more than 4 ounces of juice a DAY. Since I'd need about 18 ounces to go the smoothie route, that's obviously not an option. So the Dr. says I should drink the powder in a cup of plain milk but... come on. Who wants to drink 8 ounces of powdery milk 3 times a day? Especially when you have to SIP it over the course of an hour and a half to get 8 ounces down?!
So I'm takign a new route. I ordered several samples of protein powders that mix in water, called Nectar protein. It should be light and juice-like, which I'll be able to drink much more easily than this thick milk-based stuff. Hopefully that works, and I can fix this protein shortage before my hair starts falling out or my internal organs fail. Thanks Dr. for the scare tactics--they worked. :-)
So on Monday I started at my new Job. Because of some crazy things that have happened, I'm actually working for a clean energy company called ClearEdge Power over in Hillsboro. It's an amazing company. They produce one of the world's first fuel-cell systems that converts natural gas into clean energy for residences, allowing them to produce most or all of their own power. It's basically an alternative to Solar Panels for those who are looking to lower their home's carbon footprint and reduce energy costs.
Work is... work. :-) There is SO much to learn, since I've never worked in the industry before. Some of it's exciting and other times I'm kind of sitting in my cubicle thinking 'ok got it...what now?'. But that's always how a first week at a new place is, so I'm sure it will pick up.
That's all the news for now.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
By The Way...
I've lost 29 pounds since leaving the hospital. The vast majority of that loss is from the IV fluids and gas I was full of when I left, so I think it's only really about 12 pounds of beneficial loss. Fat loss.
The crazy thing is, I don't see any of it. My pants feel just as tight, my face looks just as fat. My mom explained that I probably won't see it for quite a while because I imagine myself as so much smaller than I really am right now. She said that there's a point where we stop really gaining weight in our mind, so until we get down to that picture in our heads, everything is still just 'fat'.
That makes sense. Still--29 pounds and I can't see it? For most of the people I know, 29 pounds would totally alter the way they look. I imagine Skyelar losing 29 pounds. laughable. She'd be dead. But I have so much to lose that what consists of a third of her body weight is a small enough amount on me to be unnoticeable.
Sort of more depressing than encouraging.
:-)
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