Ok! So a lot of people have asked me to call and fill them in on how I'm doing, but since my only waking hours have been full of pain meds and staying hydrated and Amanda's wedding (YAY!!!), I'm going to have to send out a mass update this way, and request forgiveness for the way it's being done.
I checked in at Legacy Good Samaritan hospital at 7:30 the morning of surgery. The check-in was pretty uneventful. A nurse took me back to a triage sort of area called the 'short stay' unit. They had me change into a hospital gown and pack all of my clothes into a plastic bag. They also had me give all of my valuables to Ben to keep, and then they took everything else (my clothes and my bag full of goodies for my stay) up to my future hospital room. It was kind of weird, knowing they were holding everything for me, assuming I was going to be joining my belongings in just a few hours. I was tempted to wonder what their procedure was if I never made it to the room, but I shut that thought down immediately. I knew it would lead to me imagining Ben getting bad news, alone in a waiting room, and I was too frazzled to handle that image.
The nurse was extremely talkative. Even when she wasn't drawing the vials of blood, administering any tests, or having me sign away my life (literally!) in piles of paperwork, she hung around and told me all about her reduced hours at the hospital and her daughter's success in high school. I think she was harmlessly trying to distract me from the coming surgery, but all it really did was rob Ben and I of any time alone together whatsoever. He and I just sat there, making small talk with this stranger for about 2 hours. Suddenly the Surgeon was stopping by to say hello and let me know we'd be moving into surgery shortly. She wasn't kidding. The short stay unit has no cell phone reception because it's directly below the radiology department. So I sent Ben out to the lobby to call my mom and let her know I was going into surgery soon, and by the time he got back the anesthesiologist was rolling me out of the room! I didn't even get to hug him or kiss him or share an intimate 'goodbye' moment. I could tell by the look on his face that he was frustrated by the situation too.
The anesthesiologist told Ben that the surgeon would let him know as soon as I was out of surgery, but it might be a few hours before he'd actually get to see me because they'd need to stabilize me in the recovery room before bringing me up to my hospital room. The guy was friendly and energetic, and full of corny knock knock jokes--he actually used the "who’s there, ach, ach-who, bless you!" joke. Yeah. I think I could see the entire floor of nurses roll their eyes in my peripheral vision. But his intention was sweet, and I WAS nervous, so any distraction was welcome.
The operation room was much bigger than it seems on TV. It was significantly larger than S-100 at cascade. The entire ceiling was covered in faux-sky lights. Clear panels with paintings of sunny blue skies shining through. I repaid the anesthesiologist with a lame joke of my own. "Lucky you, the only person in western Oregon that gets to work under blue skies every day" he pretended like it was the first time he'd heard the joke.
You know how, on TV, they always show the person getting a mask placed over their face and being asked to count down from 10? They never get past 7. Well I didn't get this moment! I think he must have injected a sedative directly into my IV when I wasn't looking, because one moment I was chuckling at my own lame joke, and the next thing I knew I was waking up in Recovery.
Ok so here's where the 'WOW, I'M DUMB!' moment began. Like I've been telling all the people who have criticized my choice, I've been researching this surgery for 9 months. I have read thousands of pages, and talked to post-op patients in various stages. I had 6 months of nutritional and physical therapy appointments in preparation for surgery. I met with my surgeon twice. I sat through two seminars on what to expect after surgery. I'm extremely well versed on what a post-op diet will look like, exercise recommendations and limitations, weight loss expectations, possible complications, and just about everything else anyone could have questions about.
Just about.
Funny thing is, in all of that research, I never thought to ask my surgeon--and NO ONE EVER MENTIONED-- a small but vital question.
How much pain will I be in after surgery?
Apparently, that was an important question to have asked. I woke up in the recovery room, gasping for air and screaming. SCREAMING. Like a crazy person. I was totally and completely blindsided by the pain, and I kept trying to tell the nurse--ok I was YELLING at the nurse--that they did something wrong because 'It Hurts!!'.
Ha-ha. Oh silly me. So much-too-late-note-to-self: When they cut through your abdomen in 6 or 7 two-inch strips, you're gonna feel that when you wake up.
I know. I told you I'm dumb.
So they must have put me back out to shut me up, because I don't remember much other than the nurse telling me to calm down and my pain was totally normal, until I woke up in my private room with Ben at my side.
The next 2 days were a bit of a blur. I really 'pushed' through the pain. Yep. I pushed my morphine drip button EVERY time the button lit up (about every 1o minutes). So much for being noble and strong. But I guess that's what the button is for, right?
They started bringing me trays of liquids the morning of the second day, but I never made it through any of them. Not even close really. They'd always bring 3 things--like a cup of soup, a cup of milk, and a cup of juice. I was supposed to sip constantly for about 4 hours to consume all 3. I usually just ate ice chips.
That works fine when you have an IV drip doing the hydration for you, but looking back now I wish I would have gotten into the habit of drinking at the hospital--because at home there's no IV failsafe, and it's even more difficult to drink.
I went home on a Thursday morning--3 days and 2 nights post op--with a prescription for liquid pain meds and a note to call my doctor if I started dying. :-)
More to come later!
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